'I looked at her like are you serious?': Mom refuses to discipline tantrum-throwing kid, nanny complies, mom lives to regret it

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    Joint - 1213 KANT "Don't let your kid have consequences? Ok!"
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    Font - Don't let your kid have consequences? Ok!! L OC So I'm a 23F nanny. For the family I work for there are 7 kids. Yes 7. All ranging from 14 years old to 10 months old. I have been working for them for 8 months. And never really had an issue. They are a good family for the most part. A key part here is the kids are all homeschooled so they do not get out a lot. Unfortunately that leads to mom and dad spoiling them quite a lot.
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    Font - And since I've started had a bit of a discipline issue. They throw tantrums, throw things and scream a lot. Finally mom recently put on discipline because their tantrums led to me getting and injury. I was pushed down the stairs. So she implemented a timeout routine. And it was going well for almost everyone. Here is where the story truly begins. The second to youngest it 2 and a half almost 3.
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    Font - His tantrums are some of the worst and instead of really discipling him she coddles. If he screams and yells she just picks him up and gives him whatever he wants. He will also throw things and hit whoever is telling him no. And mom doesn't do anything. On Wednesday this week mom had an appointment and when he woke up from his nap and she wasn't there he freaked out. I tried to calm by playing games, food, or reading books. But nothing worked he just got louder and more aggressive. He eve
  • 05
    Font - She was quite upset that he got a timeout because she says that he is too young and doesn't know better. Now I understand he is young but I've been a nanny for awhile and I have learned 2-3 is normal age for discipline so they learn to know better. I only do a minute per year age and only goes longer if they can't calm down though I check in every minute. She was also upset I used his room as a timeout. Now that part I get and can understand that at this age associating timeout with where
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    Font - Cue malicious compliance; The next day mom had another appointment and she was gone when he woke up. And of course he wanted her and only her. I said sorry she's not here why don't we play a game. He screams no. I ask if he wants a snack? No he screams and starts slapping at my hands. I ask to go read a book or go to his siblings room for play time. He screams again and hit me in the face. I told him please don't hit me. So he screams in my face and goes off throwing things at me and ever
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    Font - He continues his tirade throwing things, pulling things off shelves, and screaming. I obviously kept him from things that would hurt him like glass, ceramics and when he got on a table to push something I picked him up and put him down. Though he did bite me really hard when I did that. Not enough to bleed but enough to leave a good mark. I let this go for about oooh 15 ish minutes until mom came home. And when she did he was still freaking out.
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    Font - She just goes what is going on. I explained the situation and told her I'm just doing what she said and letting him cry it out till he calms down. She said that's not what I meant! I asked what did you want? She didn't really have an answer. I told her I couldn't use discipline and I couldn't calm him you said to let him go he'd calm down and he hasn't yet. I made sure anything dangerous was taken away but I didn't know what else I could do.
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    Font - Now respectively I could have picked up what he threw around but I wanted her to see what he was capable of. And I wasn't going to risk getting hurt again from taking things away. She looked upset but didn't say anything and just looked at him still throwing his tantrum.
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    Font - The baby wakes up and she goes to get her. When she comes back to try and calm him he screams to pick him up and he hits her and keeps going till she puts the crying baby on the ground and picks him up. I was kinda shocked she fed into it. I told her he's old enough to know what he's doing. He knows that he'll get what he wants when he does these things and it's only going to get worse. And if it's going to continue I'm going to continue to do nothing because I won't risk getting hurt or
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    Font - When I came to work this morning there was a timeout chair for him. And I'm allowed to use it at my discretion. Edit: So I will say because I told in the comments I only get paid 22 an hour and it is low. I am quitting this job soon. Or rather I already did my last week is in May I promised id stay till then and then I have a much better paying job backed up. And yes I did get extra pay for the stairs incident not the bite but yes for the stairs.
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    Font - BowzersMom 3 days ago I don't understand how you are still working for a family that doesn't have consequences for kids who PUSH PEOPLE DOWN STAIRS. The family won't realize how ridiculous they are until they go through multiple Nannies for the same issues: prohibition on discipline, and low, low pay. 3.1k Reply Share
  • 13
    Font - Julianishere1 - 3 days ago Is this family wealthy? Because 7 kids WOW. Also, not to be in your business but how much are you getting paid? Because if it's not A LOT then personally, I would be gone. 480 Reply Share
  • 14
    Font - Senior-Motor2647 OP. 3 days ago I get paid 22 an hour. Honestly the oldest 3 are relatively self sufficient I just really break up fights and feed them so I 22 is pretty fair. 249 Reply Share
  • 15
    Font - dark_stang 3 days ago $22/hr for 7 kids is not fair IMO. I think the average rate is around $19/hr and you add $1-2 per kid. You should be around $30+. 630 Reply Share
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    Font - AbbyM1968 3 days ago Wow: you're a way better person than I am. After the 1st round of "no consequences," I would have waived 2 weeks' pay & just left. (& moved across the country, gotten really far away) 269 Reply Share
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    Font - foxontherox 3 days ago "They are a good family for the most part" ...they do not remotely sound like a good family. 114 Reply Share

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